This is a longer-than-usual review. In some ways it surprises me, because I almost chose not to read The Weight of Our Sky by Hanna Alkaf. I saw it was classified as YA fiction and had the viewpoint of a 16-year-old girl, and while I’m not against 16-year-old girls, I feared that perspective would have too much emphasis on first loves/crushes or teenage drama for my liking. Also, I saw that the main character struggles with obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD), and I was worried it would paint neurodivergent people in a negative light. But I saw it was described by the author as “unapologetically Malaysian” which is exactly what I want if I’m looking for books to give a glimpse into a particular location and culture, so I decided to give it a try.
Oh, my goodness, I’m so glad I did.
This is a story not about a 16-year-old girl. This is not a story about an “OCD weirdo.” This is a story about resilience and bravery and trauma and fear and hatred and forgiveness. And it’s set in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia in 1969 – during the horrible race riots and fighting that occurred between the Chinese and the Malay.
Now, I’ll say, I’m embarrassed to admit that I knew nothing of this historical event. This book made me look it up. On Wikipedia it’s referred to as the “13 May Incident” – since this is the date in 1969 that the violence began (though it lasted beyond a single day). It was a period in which citizens must have been absolutely terrified, as killing was happening without consideration of the victim beyond their race. Curfews were in place that allowed for individuals to be shot on sight, even if they were in their own yards – or even in their doorways. The descriptions and accounts sound horrifying.
This account – while fictional – depicts the event in a compelling and, from what I can tell, mostly accurate manner. The narrative is from the perspective of the main character, Melati, who suffers from OCD. And by suffers, I mean suffers. She is not portrayed as having “quirks” like Monk, but rather is depicted as having extreme inner turmoil as she wants so very badly to not be ruled by her obsessions and compulsions. She believes her need to tap or count things (in sets of 3) is due to a djinn that is demanding she do so or else her mother (or others) will die. Melati has constant visions of her mom dying in some gruesome manner, and the only way to save her is to obey the djinn – sometimes resulting in tapping and pacing and counting for hours. The descriptions of this are remarkable. Some might think too much – but I think that’s what makes it perfect. It becomes so “in your face” and constant and repetitive and overwhelming that you actually start to feel the tension that Melati feels – yet at a much smaller level.
A quick aside – another embarrassment to admit – I had no idea what a djinn was. And I was pronouncing it as “d-jinn” until I mentioned the book to somebody and mispronounced it and was promptly corrected. So, in case you’re ignorant like I was (grin), it’s pronounced “jin” and that makes sense because the word shares its root with “genie.” Essentially, it’s a demon or spirit. This means that Melati believes she’s possessed / cursed and the djinn has true power to follow through on ensuring her mom dies if she doesn’t abide with the tapping/counting/etc. Also – as the author reminds us in the author’s note at the start of the book – this was in 1969. There wasn’t the same understanding of OCD as there is today, and taking cultural matters into consideration as well, you realize that she would be shunned and possibly committed to an asylum if she were to seek professional help. So, no medication, no real help – just her unbearable obsessions and compulsions.
Speaking of the author’s note – I almost teared up reading that alone (though admittedly I’ve become overly emotional in my old age). The author provides a clear trigger warning that the “contents include graphic violence, death, racism, OCD, and anxiety triggers.” She further says, “If this will hurt you, please don’t read my book. No book is worth sacrificing your own well-being for.” (bold in original)
And she emphasizes that she really means it. She then tells the reader the following:
“I appreciate you because you will now bear witness to the events that have shaped my beloved Malaysia into the country it is today. The events of May 13, 1969, when, in the wake of a contentious general election when opposition parties won unexpected victories at the expense of the ruling coalition, the Malays and the Chinese clashed in a bloody battle in the streets of Kuala Lumpur, in flames and fury stoked by political interest. One week later, the death toll climbed to 196—the official number, though Western diplomatic sources at the time suggested it was closer to 600—and the powers that be had an excuse to put policies in place that differentiated between racial groups and kept those at the top firmly, comfortably aloft on airy cushions of privilege, policies with repercussions we still live with to this day.”
And this is what the story is about. It’s about Melati (a name that means “jasmine” by the way) witnessing and living through this tragedy. This Beatles-loving, movie-going, kind, meek teenager having to live through an immensely difficult situation – all while navigating her own (OCD) demons. The events of May 13 cause her to be separated from her mom – her world (as her dad had died the previous year – and so she embarks on a quest to find her – while tapping and counting and pacing to save her and the strangers who befriend her and come to her aid. It’s a powerfully moving story that allows you to feel the events, feel the pain, feel the tension, and feel the love.
Ok – I’ll stop there in terms of the story itself. While you can look up the actual event and know how it concludes, the story itself should be left to you to discover. Discover Melati and Saf and Auntie Bee and Vince and Frankie and Jay and Jee and Roslan and all the others on your own. And there really is so much more than my description for you to consume.
So, now for the setting and the things I learned about Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. The descriptions of the location were good – though much of it was about the destruction of the events. There were specific mentions and descriptions (again, with destruction and time period in mind) of locations, such as Petaling Street (Chinatown), Cecil Street (for great street food), Princess Road (now Jalan Raja Muda Abdul Aziz – a major road – though this is an inaccuracy of the book as this road wasn’t built until 1990), Chin Woo Stadium (a sports stadium/facility that, according to a 2019 TripAdvisor review, requires male swimmers to wear Speedo-style swimming trunks in the pool and if you don’t them you can rent them – ew…), Stadium Negara (the first indoor stadium in Malaysia), the Rex Theatre (a cinema that ended its glory days as a cinema after fires in 1972 and 2002, afterwards being turned into a hostel, and now living as REXKL, a “space for creative and cultural activities”), and Kampung Baru (a Malay enclave in northern Kuala Lumpur, one of the hardest hit during the race riots).
There were also good descriptions of the styles of homes and food. And of course, there were fun references to customs, expressions, and folktales. For example, older people were referred to as Auntie/Uncle – but that doesn’t mean they were related to the person calling them that (usually children). The Malay saying, “Di mana bumi dipijak, di situ langit dijunjun” – means “Where you plant your feet is where you hold up the sky.” Clearly this is where the name of the book comes from and as explained in the book, means, “Wherever you are, you must follow what the people there do, their customs, their ways.” So basically, it’s akin to “When in Rome, do as the Romans do.” The folktale of the legend of Hang Nadim was also described. In this story, a coastal village was cursed with a plague of swordfish (because the king was a lousy, wretched king). The swordfish would jump out of the water and stab anybody who happened to be near the sea. The idiot king decided it was a good idea to have his men stand shoulder-to-shoulder by the sea to keep the swordfish from getting past, but of course this just meant those unlucky chaps got stabbed. Thankfully, Hang Nadim was a smart fella and used the soft stems of the banana tree to serve as a barrier instead of human beings. Great idea, right? The king was happy, right? Nope. The king ordered his execution because you don’t expose your superior’s stupidity. What a folktale! [Note: according to some sources that I found when I was intrigued and looked this tale up for more details, Hang Nadim may not have been the boy who saved the Temasuk – now Singapore – from the swordfish but rather a different boy. His name was used in later adaptations. I wouldn’t count this as a book inaccuracy as the adaptions likely already existed by 1969.] And how about the story of the “bloodsucking Pontianaks, demon women who lived in banana trees and came back from the dead to snatch innocent babies from unsuspecting new mothers.” Wowzers! My overall take: clearly, I recommend this book. I am glad I learned about a historical event that I should have known about already. I appreciated having an “insider’s view” of OCD to enhance the understanding and empathy I have for these neurodivergent individuals. I enjoyed the nods to Malaysian culture and traditions. Also, as a self-proclaimed notoriously slow reader, I appreciated that this was a quick read. Plus, I’m not sure I could take too many more obsessions, compulsions, or incidents of trauma than what I read. I’m left feeling for the characters and for all of Malaysia who had to endure this event. And I think that’s how one should be left at the conclusion of this book.